Fall away.

The daily Christian life is a cycle of coming and going. Leaving and returning. Now I’m here, now I’m not. Now I love God, now I don’t. Now I surrender, now I won’t.

(How does God put up with this?)

Consistency, commitment, conviction. Problem, problem, problem.

I’ve tried regular exercise of the “spiritual disciplines”, as well as accountability groups, retreats, sermons, seminars, self-authored contracts, conferences, CDs, and many, many books purchased at my local Christian bookstore.

Still, good intentions erode, passion fades, will-power expires. (And it’s only 10 a.m.)

And then Christianity feels like an everlasting climb up a descending escalator—tiring, tedious, and unconvincing. Instead of turning up my iPod and putting one foot in front of the other like a “strong Christian”, I let my feet hit the floor. (I guess I’m not a strong Christian.)

And it is here I realize just what kind of God I need. I need the God who possesses more consistency, commitment, and conviction than I do. I need the God who will fall away from heaven and descend to me. I need the God who will keep coming and coming, even though I keep leaving.

Falling away is a daily phenomenon. But so is redemption.